What Motherhood Has Taught Me After 2 Wild Years

I started writing this post when my baby was 6 months old, and it has been a work in progress for the last 18 months! So yeah...a slowwww burner.

I don't know how people find the time to write a book or finish a degree in the first years of becoming a mum... I am in awe of you! All I managed was this post about what motherhood has taught me and how yoga has helped me with the challenges of becoming a parent.

Anyway...here goes....

Becoming a mother blows your whole world wide open; no amount of reading, research, or preparation can prepare you for the moment when you first lay eyes on the tiny living being you created. An overwhelming sensation of WOW, what did I just do, and of course, an indescribable amount of love. Yes, I realise that's a massive cliche. But hey, cliches exist for a reason, don't they? 

No one asks to be born, the choice to become a parent is often an inherently selfish one...you want to scratch the biological need to procreate, you want to become a family, YOU want to experience what it's like to become a parent. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you are the one making the choice, then you need to be prepared for the whole spectrum of emotions that follow. 

What are those emotions, you ask? Every emotion you have ever experienced in your whole life and more, at an intensity level you never knew existed. 

Let's start with a few things I've personally experienced since becoming a mum. And, funnily enough, they are mostly things connected to cultivating a yoga practice.  

Awe

Not going to lie, before being pregnant, I had absolutely zero interest in hearing about pregnant women or birth or anything to do with babies. My attitude was a bit like "anyone can do it, so what's the fuss?"

Wow, I'm sorry. I take it all back! 

The sheer magic of the female body is absolutely mind-blowing and should be worshiped every single day.

That we can create life and bring it from our womb to the world is beyond words. 

That every part of your body is so intricately designed, and each part has a function that all work harmoniously as a whole, is just mind-boggling.

Like, if you really sit and think about what happens in pregnancy and birth and how a few cells literally become a human, it's so impossible to get your head around. I mean how cool is that?  

Don't even get me started on how awe-inspiring the whole birth process is. How a whole head and body can fit out of there is also just 🤯.

Gratitude

I thought I knew what it felt like to be grateful before becoming a mum, but wow, I had no idea. The moment I laid eyes on her and saw how perfect she was, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

Becoming a parent has ignited an intensified level of gratitude that I never knew existed. Sometimes I look at my girl while she's sleeping and want to cry about how grateful I am that she is here and the gift of being her mum. 

Patience

I must admit, patience is not my biggest virtue. And of course, my yoga practice is something that helps me work on that, but getting better at being patient is taking me a longggg time (ironically). But wow, there's nothing like a screaming baby to test your patience. And breathe.

When you're exhausted and just wana sleep, you really need to muster all that patience to try and soothe the baby to sleep again.

As she gets older, I see a common theme, being patient with everything she does, trying to explain things to her and not get annoyed when she has a tantrum, wait for her to take 15 minutes to walk 200m. Responding kindly and patiently is the only way to do it, something that our yoga practice teaches us very well. 

Presence & Slowing Down

First and foremost, I am a doer. I love being busy, being active, having adventures, living life to the fullest I can imagine.

That's another reason a yoga practice is so great for me. It teaches me to be slow, present, and to just be without having a goal or destination. 

Becoming a mum makes you slow down on another level! You have to accept that it takes 2 hours to leave the house, that doing anything is a huge chore, and your baby will dictate the schedule. Want to leave the house at 10? Don't worry, they'll make sure a big explosive poo is on the cards at 9.57. 

Acceptance of slowness and just being has been one of my biggest learnings in motherhood, and I love it. I have very much almost deleted my internalised capitalism and become totally fine with not being productive at all times.

A child demands your undivided attention, and it's the most amazing lesson in being present. I often catch myself looking at my phone or being distracted by something when I'm with her, and get annoyed with myself that I'm not being as present as possible. I know these moments are fleeting, hey, it's already been almost 2 years! But nobody's perfect, and being able to recognize where you want to improve is the first step. 

I know that these slow moments, those mornings without plans, those afternoons reading books, they will be the ones I cherish the most when she's grown up. And I heard...that all happens in the blink of an eye.

The only way to relish what's happening is by drinking in every moment as it arises and becoming as present as possible to enjoy that. 

Acceptance

To enjoy motherhood, acceptance is a very big part of it.

Acceptance that things don't go to plan, acceptance that things go slow, acceptance of what changes in your life. Accepting yourself and all the huge complexity of emotions and the cocktail of hormones that come along for the ride. Accepting that your old self is gone, but a new and powerful one is emerging.

Accepting that you can't sleep or rest the way you used to.

One of the biggest learnings from motherhood has been accepting all dimensions of what's unfolding and not trying to fight it. If you try to fight it, nobody ends up happy.  

The obstacle is the only way after all.

Softness 

As part of the acceptance learning comes softness; it's another cliche that becoming a mum makes you lean in to your nurturing and feminine side, but my goodness, it does!

You don't need to be tough or try to show the world that you can do it all. Being soft and gentle on yourself and those around you, especially your child, even when they drive you crazy, is the best gift you can give yourself.

We are all imperfect beings; nobody, absolutely nobody, has it figured out. As soon as we start being softer with ourselves and one another, everything changes for the better. 

The hardest parts

So far, I've only talked about the positive emotions I've experienced and learnt through motherhood so far. But of course, like anything worth having, it's not always an easy ride. 

There's the complete exhaustion that nothing can ever prepare you for. The inability to lift yourself up from the bed because you're so utterly exhausted, but you have a demanding baby, whose needs don't disappear because you're tired, to take care of. 

There's the anxiety that you're doing anything wrong that could cause any long-term damage to your baby, that something horrific could happen to them at any moment. That niggling fear of the worst never seems to go away. 

For me, letting go has been really, really hard. I want to micromanage every part of caring for my child, and it's been super hard to allow others to take care of her. I feel so responsible for my most precious gift that I find it so, so hard to trust leaving others in charge of her care. 

Letting go of the fact that she's part of me but not mine is also a struggle. She's her own person who will make her way in the world, and basically, it's my job to prepare her for making that way. You spend every moment of their childhood preparing them not to need you anymore, and that's such a weird concept to get your head around. 

The toughest job you'll ever have

They say that starting a family is the 7th series in the Ashtanga Yoga path. Once you've "mastered" all other series of demanding practice, you can go and do the hardest job you will ever do. And wow, it is hard, testing, and complex.

BUT more and more, I see the things I've learnt through my yoga practice helping me in this path through motherhood, and I couldn't be more grateful for these teachings and the wisdom they continue to give me daily. 

Of course, there are a million other emotions and learnings that I haven't mentioned here, but for now, that's what I got! Maybe in another 2 years, I'll update you with more!

I'm about to give birth to my second baby, so let's see how that unfolds and how practicing yoga off the mat helps me deal with all the challenges coming my way. 😂

Sending you mucho amor. xx

p.s. I'm thinking of hosting a retreat for mums & their babies....send me a message if you think it's something you'd like to be part of!